The croak had echoed down the long corridor that led to my apartment. I covered my mouth in embarrassment. The delivery guy just stared at me. I felt the span of an infinite lifetimes rise and fall between the gaps in our conversation. He stood there looking at me, and I him. We were stuck in limbo.
“Croak!” He finally said, and a click and whir was heard, and the delivery guy’s mouth opened wider and wider, and eventually, the servos could be seen along the jaw turning the mechanism past the point a normal jaw opened. A door opened in the back of his throat and out jumped an ordinary frog sitting on his tongue. It regarded me with its large coal black eyes.
“Ri bit, croak, higgup!” The frog said.
Imagine my surprise when my own mouth opened. The frog jumped into my mouth, and I could feel it open something in the back of my throat. I stood there in terror as I felt it work its way down my throat. After a moment, it came back, and I could hear a different frog this time who said, “Croak, croak, ribbit, higgup!”
The other frog blinked, and then vanished into delivery guy’s mouth. It came back with a small black square and handed it to me. I felt my hand move even though I wasn’t controlling it. I retrieved the square and then placed it in my ear.
“Now you can hear us, human”, the frog in the delivery guy’s mouth said.
I couldn’t talk with my mouth cranked open, so I merely nodded.
“I’m sure this is coming to as quite a shock”, the frog in my mouth said. “I must apologize for the inconvenience, you see every once in a while, we get lodged in the back our vehicle’s throat. We had to call out for pizza.”
So that’s why I ordered it, I didn’t remember why I did, but that was all secondary to my bigger concern at the moment. A frog is driving me around town apparently.
“We found a way to bypass your normal defenses, not all humans are good vehicles for frogs.” The delivery frog said. “We keep a close contact with those of us who have vehicles close by. I was happy to help get you unstuck, Tadipokus.”
“Thank you, Ohi” Tadipokus said as he jumped back into my throat and slam the door.
Slowly my jaw closed, and was back to normal. I rubbed my jaw for several moments before I said, “What the hell is going on?”
“Since Tadipokus will be resetting the board soon, I see no harm in explaining”, the frog said shrewdly. He stared at me a moment, and then said, “Many moons ago, we reigned supreme over all the land in The Green Sphere, or as you call Earth. We were the first out of the water. We were the smartest, and the honor was ours. We took the land, and created a paradise. Then you humans and other creatures crawled out of the sea and at one point we lived in harmony. One day, a human named Eve had a run in with an idiot for a snake, she ate some fruit, and things got ugly. The balance was tipped that day, and the lust for knowledge overtook the placidity that humans had started out as. You no longer could find peace, or satiate the terrible hunger that knowledge never fills.”
A fly buzzed by, at least two or three times past the frog who merely batted it away. And I was so hoping that his tongue would flip out, and snatch the bug out of the air. It would have been a more frog-like thing to do. This one definitely didn’t do that.
“You took the world for yourselves, and hunted us down, worse you made us a plague in Egypt. We became the frog and not the prince. We were disparaged, and sought our revenge.”
“In the early 1900s a man named Ford created a fully functional horseless carriage, and it dawned on Phyl Chloro, perhaps the greatest frog of our time, to exact our revenge. We found a way to integrate our technology into your bodies.”
“You use us like cars?” I asked incredulously.
“Well, sort of”, it said. “Some of you, yes, but some of you are used as a status symbol. Just like some humans buy fancy cars to show status, some of us like to jack into celebrities or athletes. That Jamaican sprinter is one such example. Elded Yellowspot, one of our greatest drivers of all time calls him his own.”
“I got it!” Came a muffled voice from within my head.
“Okay”, the frog clapped as he turned to walk back into the delivery guys’ throat. He stopped and he turned back towards me. “You are reliable model. Hopefully you won’t break down anytime soon. Sorry for the inconvenience. We now return you to your regularly mundane and boring existence. Enjoy the pizza.”
He waved and disappeared back into the man’s throat. The mouth closed back to normal, and the delivery guy blinked and handed me the pizza.
“That will be twelve fifty”, he said.
I nodded and handed him the money. Thanked him, shut the door, placed the pizza on the coffee table, and slumped on the couch. My experience with pizza taught me to let it cool down some before eating so that I don’t burn the roof of my mouth. I turned on the TV, and saw that there was a documentary about frogs. I don’t know what drew me to the program, but I was hooked. Frogs sure are pretty cool.